Hey there beloved one that’s going through some stuff. How are you today? Maybe you’re saying “I’m just making it/ I am getting by/I am not doing well. I don’t know how I will go on.” Maybe you are just silent. Like me. You just don’t know what to say. But then again if you catch me on a good day and I am thinking clearly I will tell you with a smile that all is well not realizing that I’m still making it, I’m still hoping, still keeping the faith in the Almighty God, still loving others praying them through their situations whatever it may be to include losing a loved one. I can’t keep silent always. He’s all I know and all I trust to believe in to get through every single day that I face.
Grief sucks. Mourning a loved one takes time. There is no timeline. At least that’s what I hear. All of this is new to me. BUT GOD..
He’s getting me through every last emotion and thought that I face since losing my Mom. It’s been almost 6mo and yet it feels like the very day she took her last breath. My chest is literally hurting as I reflect in this moment. Geez. (still going to keep typing no matter what). Through the pain lift Him up. I’m talking about my Jesus. May He be glorified always whether it’s a good day or a bad day.
It’s been a rough few days mentally. Trying to figure out what to do, how do I get back into what I was called to do. Write and encourage. The flesh side couldn’t figure it out. Praying and talking to God having honest moments with Him. It’s not that I didn’t want to write though I’ll admit that I can procrastinate. A lot. Bad habit. Sorry. Grief just wasn’t on my list of things to talk about.
Little by little I’ve received the Word here and there in various ways. The final megaphone moment was through a friend. The Lord allowed me to dream about her in the most simple way. Her daughter was eating a Pop Tart or something as we sat outside in her yard talking it up with laughter. Weird dream but it’s true. That dream turned into me saying that I was going to call her. I got busy and guess what? She called me! The Lord works in mysterious ways I know but He has to be like “Ok Terra, I’m going to speak a little louder for you to know that I hear you. I’ve been hearing you but I’ll make it a bit clearer.”
Long story short, talking with my Sister in Christ, my military connected friend for at least 10yrs now brought clarity to my funk/my stuck in the mud spot that I couldn’t figure out. The Lord gave her what to say to me whether she realized that she was calling me for more than what she thought she was. She lifted my spirits as only she can do by loving me, listening to me, giving me the Word, sharing her experiences, making me laugh all without a cup of tea or sitting physically in each other’s face. A phone call goes a long way. It really does.
Colossians 3:16“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
“Write what you know. Glorify God for that is what we are here for.” Not her exact words but you follow what I’m saying I believe. She gave me a bunch of nugget truths yesterday that I cannot quote exactly but my heart is filled to the overflow. I can write about what I know. I should not quench the Holy Spirit when I know what I had already been receiving yet wanting to play “Let’s Make a Deal”. My way doesn’t work. This I know but I didn’t want to write about it. I didn’t want to talk about my pain no more than what I last wrote about. I just didn’t want to face the truth. Not then. Not on days that I felt good. I simply wanted to keep silent. I didn’t want weakness to consume through my writings though I knew it could help someone else.
I had to repent right then and there. I was in my feelings but I truly thank the Lord for patience, love and mercy. He saw my pain, met my needs right where I was. But I had to relinquish my hold. Free fall into His arms. This new season is foreign to me. But if I want to be set free completely I have to do what I know to be true because His Word is love and light and I believe it. I know I can draw strength from it. You can too.
“but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough–always available–regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me. So I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, and with difficulties, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak [in human strength], then I am strong [truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God’s strength].”
2 CORINTHIANS 12:9-10 AMP
(sigh) Well my friend I hope my thoughts, words of encouragement by sharing truths in the Lord can help you in some type of way. Jesus is all I know. I said it before and I’ll keep saying. I’ll keep lifting Him up , praising Him and magnifying His Name that’s above all names. Through the pain you will get through it. I know that I am.
Grief sucks. And yet I still move on. You can too. I’ll be praying for you. No matter how far across this earth you may from me God hears prayers near and far and will answer. He’s faithful and never changing. He’s loving, patient and kind. Give Him your cares and concerns and most of all your heart. You will see just how good He is. There’s always a bigger picture than what we see.
God bless you,