Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21 AMP)
Let’s go back back in time…a little before 1991, the year I graduated from high school.
I grew up not really knowing the Lord with a solid foundation though I had a taste of going to church and seeing what a bit of it was about.
I had this desire in my heart when I was just a kid (around 10yrs old) to want to live my life for God even though I did not know where, why or how I came to feel the way I did. I even said to myself that I wanted to become a Nun! Little did I know about them, but I knew that they dedicated their lives to serving Him. I went to a Baptist church at the time I believe, so I’m sure I would have surprised them had I asked about becoming a Sister. ( Nun )
I use to dream about one day getting married to this Christian man and our first child was going to be a baby girl. We were always sitting in the pews holding her and listening to the sermon.
I never been to the beach my entire life growing up, but I knew that I wanted to get married on the beach. To a military guy at that. The whole nine yards! Yeah you can say that I was very descriptive as to what I wanted. My friends from high school said I always talked about wanting to have 10 kids. I STILL don’t recall saying that but I always knew that I wanted a lot of children.
Where in the world did all these thoughts come from?!!
For years I dreamed this same dream…. never to see the face of the man I was to marry. He was just a shadow image. Nothing else.
As prissy as I was (I still am by the way) who’d think that I would go off to the Army. My mom could barely get me to do the dishes without wearing gloves simply because I didn’t want to mess up my nail polish! I was respectful and all, I just thought things would work better with protected hands!
Anyway, a year passed after I graduated and l joined the U.S. Army. I signed my John Hancock on the dotted line, raised my hand in oath and before you knew it, this little Ohio girl was off to start her life. Little did I know, the life and career path I chose for myself would ultimately change a couple years later. I met my future husband, we both attended church together with the desire to live for Christ, fell in love and talked about our future.
Everything about my life I wanted and desired, I wanted the Lord to be the head of it. I wanted his perfect will. I remember praying and telling the Lord that I loved Tim and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him BUT if he was not the man for me then I would not marry him as hard as I know it would be to let him go, I would give up my desire and plans just to have his ( God’s ) perfect plan for my life.
As a couple, we waited to hear from the Lord. It was His will that we be joined together as man and wife, it was His will that I was to not re-enlist and commit more years to serving my country as a soldier, it was His will that I become a mother to 6 children and be a stay at home mom while my husband be the sole provider and head of household not just as a man, but a God fearing man who would lead his family in the way God planned him to.
Me becoming a wife, a MOTHER to many when my doctor told me as a teenager that I would likely be infertile and not be able to have children was a dream come true! My heart, my desires, my prayers, my direction wanted to be aligned with the Lords even before I knew him personally.
Man says one thing but the Lord has the final say. My stair-step children are proof that God is ABLE! Though I never worried as a teen, I just knew that I was going to give birth to children one day after I married. No one could tell me any different. It was a confidence and assurance of faith.
As I sat in the car this morning, I began to write this inspiration while waiting for the school doors to open up while looking at my kids as they laughed and talked.
I am where I am suppose to be.
This feels really good to know that I have not totally gone off of my own GPS over the years, but that of the Lord’s. We can never go wrong if we truly want our lives to be successful. The road is long and the journey isn’t always foreseen, but God sees it all. Past. Present. Future.
It’s not about the educational degrees, the finer things in life, the status quo of this world that makes me successful or complete. It’s not even about being married and have children though all the listed above are great blessings, it’s about being a child of The Most High. To have salvation, to live my life serving Him and doing His will until I am called home is the greatest gift I could ever receive. I am complete in God as long as I have Him.
Well I believe I am done right about now. Just thought I would share with you all a bit about my life and the musings that run through my head every now and then.
To God be the glory. I am thankful for another day of life. Speaking of His goodness can go on and on if its the Lord’s will that I see another breath, but if not…my thoughts, prayers and writings are found throughout this blog.
Be blessed and thankful for the small things. Look to God and ask Him to search your heart. Let Him make you over.
Let’s Order Our Steps In The Lord.
In Christ with love,
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 NKJV)
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall fall on me, Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.” (Psalm 139:1-18 NKJV)
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