As I was in the bed unwinding for the night, two men came across my mind. One I forgave immediately and the other……. well let’s just say that I did forgive him years ago but I swept it under the rug. I didn’t want to relive emotional pain over some words and lack of understanding and compassion I felt so many years back.
Over 25 yrs ago I was struck by a car driven by an 18 yr old driving 75 mph in a 25 mph school zone. I was at the cross walk in front of my middle school. From what I can remember and what I was told, I was knocked about 30 feet. The only thing I suffered was a broken femur. ( thigh bone ) I know it was no one but God who saved me.
I endured 2 years of being on crutches and rehabilitation to learn how to walk again between 2 surgeries. One to fix my thigh and the other to remove the plate and screws attached inside. Wow… these were the years I was just beginning as a teenager and I had a complex about my long and ugly scar.
The day of the accident, all I could think about was the good citizen who came from across the street to cover me with a blanket until the paramedics arrived and thanking God that I was alive. Nothing else mattered then. I take that back! I was wearing a brand new pair of Lee jeans and I was upset that they had to be cut open to see if any broken bones were openly present. ( excuse my way of thinking as a new teen just beginning to like fashion back in the 80’s in hope that my pants could be spared. Lol ) Between blacking out and coming to, the lingering screams I heard from friends are still with me to this day.
I never knew what happened to the guy who hit me, other than my parents taking legal action against him. Believe it or not, I had no ill feelings towards him. I wasn’t even mad at him for all the pain I endured mentally and physically. I forgave him. I was ok. It was my school principal that I had bad feelings against, all because he made an issue about the school flag coming down because of my accident.
“Are you serious?!!” I couldn’t believe that a flag had precedence over my life. Well that is how it made me feel. It hurt me bad. Oh believe me, it became a big issue enough that resulted in my mom going up to the school to address the principal.
Well to speed this up, I moved on with my life, became a Christian, asked God to forgive me of my sins and along my walk for me to forgive others I harbored unforgiveness towards. Well at least I thought I’d forgiven them all. TRULY forgiven them. Obviously I didn’t.
Needless to say, the other night I truly forgave the man who I harbored anger and unforgiveness towards. I also prayed for him hoping that his life has turned out well in general. I hope and pray he believes in God and has excepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. I also hope and pray the same for the guy who hit me. I can only hope he doesn’t have any bad feelings towards me for any repercussions he had to face for his negligence. I hope he knows that he is forgiven. My prayers for their salvation has nothing to do with me but the fact that we all have not accepted Christ into our heart. The way we live our lives until we die plays a part as to how we live this life and treat others.
We all make mistakes. We learn and forgive as well as ask for forgiveness. I thank the Lord for placing them on my heart as I chose to act in obedience to forgive immediately. No questions asked. It’s a wonderful feeling to let a wound completely heal. I had the right prescription to heal me though I didn’t realize I was still carrying the pain. Thank you Jesus!
I don’t know why I’ve taken another step in opening up my personal life but I rather be obedient than not. There has to be a reason behind this. All I can say is Thank You Lord for second chances. Thank You for awakening my heart to check under my rug that may harbor anything I have not completely given up. I want a clean temple for the Lord to reside in. My purpose is to be a light unto the world as a child of the Most High and share salvation with others. Sharing my experiences will hopefully let others see that Christians aren’t perfect, yet we strive daily to be Christlike. I’m not perfect but I’m made perfect in Him. It reminds me of why I love butterflies so much. So much is going on inside the cocoon to transform the caterpillar into a beautifull butterfly. Once the transformation takes place, it is then I can truly spread my wings and fly.
Dear friends, if you have any unforgivenness swept under a rug, pray and ask God to reveal it to you so that you will be released from anything that keeps you from being totally set free.
Bless you all on your journey to becoming a better person in the Lord.