( crying and trying to keep it together )

First I want to say that this is straight from my heart. If there are any errors in my spelling or grammar, please forgive me. This is just raw feelings I cannot hold back.

I wonder if I am beginning to understand just a bit more of how God feels knowing that his children; his creations are dying every day without salvation that has been freely given to us by his Son Jesus. I gotta tell ya… this has been a week full of emotional highs and lows, learning and growing, planting and harvesting. My heart has been feeling sorrow and I never could really put my finger on why. God spoke to me in one word as I was walking past the kitchen this morning. LAMENTING

( This is where I break into full tears and go to my knees crying out for people I don’t even know )

Really. It’s time to come up out of our comfort zone and be about God’s business. We are called to go out and share the love of Christ, take care of the homeless, sick, shut in, the orphans, those lost in darkness who don’t even know who Jesus, let alone if they even believe in him. There is so much work to be done. No, we cannot force people to acknowledge Christ, repent and receive salvation and to live a life pleasing unto the King but we can be the mouth, the hands and feet in the Body of Christ, going about the earth being an example of the One we profess to be our all and all. Are we walking our talk? Are we showing a lifestyle that mirrors Christ to the best of our ability? If not, it is time to step out and find out.

I had the opportunity to go with my husband to pray over a woman in person who’s husband is dying of cancer that he never knew he had until he went into the hospital to have surgery for one thing, just to find out he has stage 4 lung cancer. She’s spiritually saved. He isn’t. So many emotions running through my mind, tears overflowing in my heart crying out to God pleading that some how, some way , this man’s life would be spared. That he will have the opportunity to accept Jesus into his life and receive salvation. I cried for this man out of love as if he was a member of my own household. I haven’t had the chance to meet this man in person because he is very ill. He was sleeping at the time, so it was not an appropriate time to do anything to disturb him because he is dealing with so much and in pain. A dear friend I have come to know ( Natalie ) came to mind and I emailed her in route to the home of the ailing. I’m so grateful that she received my message  before getting to the destination. I told her about what’s going on and she has been praying for this family as well since that day. It was on the way back home that my eyes were opened just a bit more to try and comprehend the LOVE Jesus has for us. It breaks our Father’s heart to see his beloveds hurting and in pain, struggling and leaving this earth sometimes by choice to never receive His love and eternal life with him. For me to love ONE person enough to cry my heart out until I was ready to puke, doesn’t even touch the surface of everyone in the world that Christ bore sins for and died a horrible death on the cross JUST so a way could be made for those to be in union with Father God and live with in heaven after they leave this earth. I can’t begin to imagine the magnitude of love and sacrifice He gave just for us.

How much are we willing to give of ourselves and our time to love thy neighbor as thyself?

You know what? God is a good God, an amazing Father, a merciful and grace filling Love in my life who patiently teaches me his ways even when I don’t understand, even when I stumble, even when my priorities are not in order every day. Through all this crying I have been doing, it’s typical for my body to start showing signs of a seizure because of the stress that crying does to me. But it has not come to pass. Thank you Father.

How my heart grieves; the sorrow that is weighing me down is actually making me stronger in Him to go out do works for the Kingdom. My actions speaks louder than words.

I’m not trying to break anyone’s Christmas spirit,but if you would, reflect on where you are in your life right now. If it wasn’t for Jesus coming into your life, where would you be? There are many people suffering mentally,physically and spiritually right now. Christmas shopping is the last of their worries. Someone has lost a loved one, someone is suffering from a bad case of depression, someone is grieving and mourning, someone is fighing for their life somewhere out there in this world. I can’t help but cry with them and over them, pleading their case before the Lord; taking their afflictions before his feet asking for healing and deliverance. I don’t have to know you to love you. It’s through Christ Jesus that I am able to truly love on you and want the best for you. So if you don’t know Christ at all, I pray that ministering angels are sent to you to be by your side and to speak his love into you. And if we ever cross paths, I will surely do my part to show His love and help you the best I can.

To God be the glory forever and always. Praises to I AM, The Holy One, my Fortress, the Great Physician, Healer, King of kings and Lord of lords in all the earth. Blessings of comfort and guidance from the Lord be with you.

Terra