………… It is well with my soul.
Words cannot begin to describe the depth of my pain. Grief is something else. We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives but the only true and faithful foundation and anchor to get through it is Jesus Christ.
You can say what you believe all day long but living it is a test of your faith.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 NKJV
My day came when my dear mother left this earth to go home to be with the Lord May 3, 2018. While it was no surprise to God it took my family and I for an unexpected ride. Life came and went by so quickly in the couple weeks that I went home to see about her. Little did I know that I was going home for reasons far bigger than I could ever imagine.
“For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven, if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked. For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life. Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.”
II Corinthians 5:1-8 NKJV
He was preparing me for everything that I imagined and told myself that I didn’t ever want to do.
•watch my Mother take her last breath
•do all the necessary things like paperwork to get her ready for burial
•view her body up close in preparation for her Homegoing service
•bury her beneath the Earth’s soil in the very place I dislike going to. The cemetery.
But what I fail to concentrate on (getting better at doing it) is that “for a time such as this” He had me ministering to her while she was still alive. I practically lived at the hospital for 2wks. I made it my business to pray with her and over her, read the Bible to her and to play/sing praise and worship music. I did this every day. I didn’t know she was going to die. I just knew that she needed the Word instilled in her. It’s all I know to do when facing the unexpected. God is my hope and my strength day to day. Through the good and and the not so good days.
Every time she was being taken away for a procedure she would not let anyone wheel her away until I prayed. Her hope and her faith to get through it all was in God. I take comfort in knowing that I played a part in it because of my obedience to Him. It helped my mother during the roughest experience of her life. She could have easily told me to not pray anymore, to not speak of the God who was allowing her to go through such a painful time. But I can only imagine that she understood in that time that God sat and watched his one and only Son be tortured and crucified for all of the world’s sins. There was a purpose in the temporary pain. Jesus died so that we could live. He bore our sins and our afflictions on the Cross so that we could be set free.
I went back home to my own family just to turn back around 3 days later because things turned for the worse. While I can do away with technology some days I am so happy for it’s good use. On my way to the airport my niece FaceTime me because my mother was asking for me. She ended up in ICU. It was the last time I got to see her awake. It was the last time that I knew of that she could hear me tell her that I loved her and I prayed with her. By the time I made it home and up to the hospital she wasn’t responding to my voice or squeezing my hand anymore and yet I continue to pray, read and play worship music.
I was still believing God for the unexpected and yet I was okay if He decided to take her home. While it still hurts, while the tears still fall down my face, while I grieve with such an agonizing pain in my heart it is well with my soul.
So no more pain, no more suffering, no more condemnation in those who belong to Him. Though our earthly bodies will suffer it’s temporary. We all will leave this life in some way but in Him we take confidence that all will be made new in heaven. This is my confidence. This I hold to be true because God my Father who holds the world in his hands holds me and he holds you too. He will see us through.
This trying time could have made me turn my back on God but it didn’t. It helped me get through the darkest day of my life that I’ve experienced so far. For all that I’ve learned and read and lived on this Christian journey it has become even more real when facing such a hardship. Losing a parent is a hard pill to swallow. They played a part into you coming into this world.
I can only tell you my friend what got me through and is still getting me over the waves of grief that consume me at times. Faith, hope, and prayer. Jesus was right there crying with me and my family. He was right there as my mother went through so much pain until she made her transition from this life to her eternal home. He knows our pain and he knows our struggles personally. He lived it and because He trusted his Father we can do the same thing. It’s a choice.
It is well with my soul because I know that God is faithful and true. He is the God who cannot lie and keeps His promises. This is my story… this is my experience of going through the valley. The key word is through. A friend shared that with me. It’s not a permanent destination. We are passing by and through with expectancy to come out.
I can only hope and pray that my words no matter how the flow of sharing differs from my other posts touches your heart and brings some sense of peace and encouragement if you’ve lost a loved one or come at a time when you will experience it. It’s taken me while to write. I’ve started and stopped. Deleted and tried to ignore and avoid. Grief goes deep but if sharing helps someone else I want to fight through it, wipe my tears away and type. This is where I am and this is my truth.
Be blessed, be encouraged and keep hope even when it seems like it’s fading. God can do all things but fail.
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.””
Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJV
* the song Even If by MercyMe connected to my heart before I knew what was about to take place. I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe that God orchestrated it. All of it. How can I not thank Him for it. Even through pain and loss He has a plan.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV
So sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I can only imagine the conversation your mother and God had in those last moments.
Thank you for your kind words, prayers and encouragement Butch. Bonnie’s too. And I can only imagine as well what the conversation was like between Mom and God. I never thought about that. So many thoughts run through my mind. It’s a lot to process and also to push out. If it’s not helpful in moving forward I try to push those thoughts away. God bless you my friend.
My heart goes out to you.
My heart goes out to you.
Thank you Bonnie. I appreciate your heart for me. Reaching out is a blessing. I receive it all. God bless you dear sister.
What a treasured gift you were given to be able to be there with and for your precious Mom during her final days. I can only imagine the peace and comfort that gave her.
I know when you think back as the years pass by, you will see the enormity of God’s mighty hand at work in all of this. I can feel the miraculous in the readingof this post (though you’ve shared some of it with me before).
Love you friend and I know that the story doesn’t end here. Be expectant for what God is going to continue to do through all of what happened with your dear Mom.
Hugs & love,
Amen and thank you, Lisa. You are right about it all. Sometimes it’s hard to see past the storm but God always bring the calm. Even in the middle I know He can do wonders. Your friendship and support has blessed me tremendously. Your words have been timely so I know it was the work of the Holy Spirit. One day at a time is all I can do. I know that I don’t want to miss anything that He’s wanting to show me in this loss as I’ve shared with you. I pray to stay expecting from God. His plans are always greater and blesses beyond our thinking.
Love you too my friend. Hugs & love back.
Beautifully said. Amen!
Thank you for taking time out to read and leave a comment of encouragement. God bless you!
Thank you for sharing about your journey with your mom. I lost my mom in December 2017. As I was reading your post, I could really relate and was with you on every single word you wrote. You expressed your thoughts in a beautiful way.
If you don’t mind, I would love to share with you my post regarding losing my mom. I will attach the links at the end of this comment. Again, thank you for sharing and know I will keep you in my prayers as you continue to process the loss of your mom.
You are welcome for the share. It was hard but I did what I needed to do in hopes to help someone else through their journey. Thank you for espresso have a word of encouragement and offering prayers during this time. I will be praying for you as well. Sharing my story brought up thoughts of your Mom and I pray that I didn’t sadden you more. I appreciate you sharing your link post about your loss.
God bless you,
Your post touched my heart in a special way. I call it my God wink for the day.😉
Both of your posts touched my heart deeply, brought me to tears and gave me comfort all at the same time. I was hoping to leave a comment on your page but I don’t see anything. That’s okay. “For a time such as this…” the Lord knew and brought you to my page to read and to also share. While there are so many similarities regarding our Mothers God has brought comfort and peace through the process. I am seeing His provision more and more. Not that I didn’t see His hand before… I just think the pain was just so much more intense.
It all seems surreal to be honest. Feels like grief has been hitting me more now that all the leg work and such has been done and I have time to grieve on my own. I initially started to write a post May 22 but couldn’t bring myself to write more so I deleted it. God held on and still encouraged me to share. Glad I did. While I had hope that I’d help someone else He brought provision yet again through you and many others in various ways. I was feeling alone and abandoned and yet He provided exactly when He knew I needed it. In the way that I needed it even if I didn’t ask. He knew my heart and I thank Him.
April, today I’ve felt a wave of peace pass over through your writings. God is still so good and my hope is in Him. I can’t see placing it anywhere else.
Blessings always with hugs from my heart to yours 🤗💕✝️
I’ll have to check my post regarding being able to comment. Something must have been turned off by accident. My apologies.
It is my prayer that my writings can bring peace to others such as you. I call our interaction today God’s Divine Appointment…. there are never coincidences.
It’s been a blessing to connect with you today. You continue to be in my prayers. May you experience the peace that surpasses all understanding.❤️🙏
Sounds good April. I know things can happen. That’s technology for you! No need to apologize but I thank you for it though. 😊🙏🏽
Thank you for the continued prayers. They are greatly appreciated. It’s been a blessing connecting with you too. ❤️🙏🏽
Yes to this being a God Divine Appointment. I don’t believe in coincidences. His hand was all over this!!
God is good! ALL THE TIME!🙌
Thank you again Terra for your Prayers and for your Encouragement on Freedomborn. How wonderful that your Mother had your Loving support as God prepared her to leave this World knowing her time had come as He knows all our Allotted time on earth too but also gives us His reassurance and Peace when needed from day to day when we seek Him with all our Heart. .
As you know Terra I have been told I’m facing earthly Death although it’s not yet fully confirmed Medically and God has Healed me before more than once. But of course it’s not Spiritual Death and never will be, so in knowing without a doubt I will be with my Lord and King Eternally when my time comes now or in later years gives me inner Joy that nothing can take away.
Lamentations 3: 33 For God doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the Children of Men. (KJV)
Isaiah 43:1-3….. Fear not for I have redeemed thee I have called thee by thy Name thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters I will be with thee and through the rivers they shall not overflow thee, when thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I Am The LORD thy God, The Holy One of Israel thy Saviour….. (KJV)
We do indeed give Heartfelt Thanks that as God’s Chosen Children that He knows as His own, Satan can never cause us to fall away by rejecting Jesus which leads to Spiritual death, Eternal Separation from God but our Loving Lord and King always protects our Soul and He tells us not one of us will be lost. Thankfully also during the times we suffer He gives us His Strength to endure and we will indeed walk in Victory in the end, this is His Promise.
Psalm 97:9-11 For thou Lord art high above all the earth thou art exalted far above all gods. Ye that Love the Lord hate evil, He preserveth the Souls of His Saints, He delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked. Light is sown for the Righteous and gladness for the Upright in Heart.
Yes it’s also very True as you shared Terra; God never leaves us and He always Helps us during all the Trials that Life brings but as we know because of the Fall Satan won the right to control this World and this is why there is Evil which includes Sickness and Death and he Temps us to do evil too so he can get a foothold in our lives and cause us to continue to suffer and we also reap the evil we sow which is God’s Discipline but we are choosing it, He never willingly Afflicts us.
1 John 5:18-20 We know that we are of God and that the whole World lies in the Power of the Evil One. And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us Understanding so that we may know Him who is True and we are in Him who is True, in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the True God and Eternal Life. (James 1:12-14)
Christian Love Terra and God’s Blessings – Anne.
Thank you, Anne for such generous words of truth and comfort during this time. Not just for me but for yourself as you go through the unknown. God knows all so nothing is a surprise to Him. May we always strive to keep our eyes on Him as we draw strength and keep hope during our journey. God bless you. I will keep you lifted up dear sister…