Separation Anxiety

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II Timothy 1:7 NKJV

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Here I am sharing the diary of my thoughts as of late. It’s quite something when separation anxiety plays a major part in your life and your spiritual walk.

The last couple weeks have felt as if fear has been gripping me at the throat. Two reasons to be exact. Actually three. One being my husband leaving state for a short period of time to go to medical school as he is working on his doctorate. The other being concerned about an upcoming appt for a yearly annual exam followed up by a mammogram. *I’ll be getting to the third reason soon enough.

Regarding my husband, I love him to pieces so it’s always hard to see him leave without me and our children. You’d think I would be use to it as we are now a retired Army family.  We both were soldiers. After 19yrs of marriage, I still shed tears before he leaves anywhere out of town and my mind rolls like a tide wondering and worrying if he is safe on the highways.

These emotions should not rule over me. At all.

The above scripture repeatedly played in my mind as I allowed it to filter into my heart. My husband told me that God is still God and that He is always in control. He told me this not once but twice. The second time was as the days passed upon the arrival of my up and coming appointment to the doctors office.

“Lord I am tired of letting You down as well as myself. I claim Your truths, promises and healing yet I find myself still emotionally consumed with feelings of the unseen and unknown.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 NKJV

And the Lord , He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Boom. Here comes my third reason. The reason that landed me where I should have not landed. The reason that I listed last so that it will make sense.

My separation anxieties would not have me all in a frenzy had I kept my focus on God and not my fears. It’s natural to be concerned about others and situations but I should not allow them to choke me up.

I allowed my thoughts to run rampant. I allowed myself get away from standing still in the presence of God and giving Him my complete trust while letting go of how I felt I could cope with my emotional state.

Simply put, I can do nothing without Him. This I know yet I did not completely relent until the day of my appointment.

CANCER. (lump in my throat)

Thinking that I may be the next woman in my family to have breast cancer and/or ovarian cancer made my stress level skyrocket. My mom and sister are survivors of breast cancer. My paternal grandmother died of ovarian cancer.

“I can’t catch a break to save my life. Sheesh. I’d be the very one to die from breast cancer if my test came back confirming my worst fear.” These were the thoughts running through my mind. Shame on me. I should never feel insignificant to God. He loves me.

Battlefield of the mind. I am at war with myself and the adversary. I press forward to think on good things as scripture tells me.

Philippians 4:8 NKJV

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are  noble, whatever things are  just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are  lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there  is any virtue and if there  is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

… yet I’m still fighting to keep my head above water. Speaking of water, I think about the story when Jesus tells Peter to come to Him out in the open sea. Peter stepped out and walked on water until the the winds blew. His fear, his lack of faith caused him to begin to sink until Jesus pulled him up. (Matthew 14:22-32)

Let me back this whole thing up for a minute. When I find myself withdrawing to grow closer to the Lord, the enemy is on my heels. If he being Satan did it to Jesus then I definitely am not being excluded to be tested and tried. This makes me think back to the biblical story of Job. That man surely went through some storms in his life yet He did not turn his back on God despite all the mental, physical and emotional hardships he suffered. He knew God was still a faithful and loving Father though he knew not why he was suffering.

With all this being said, I need to stick even closer to the Lord. I know this life will not keep me from suffering all things that come my way. Whether it’s through word or affliction I must continue to speak the word of God in my life and over it. I must believe Him for the unseen and unknown even when I’m growing weary.

I’m far from perfect but I continue to strive to live out my life pleasing Him who has purposed every aspect of my life that He would get the glory. His Holy Word tells us: Romans 8:28 ESV

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

So to sum up my thoughts, I took action like never before as I prepped myself to leave the house and as I traveled the highway. I thank the Holy Spirit for bringing my mind and heart into remembrance of scriptures to help, affirm and comfort me through the last couple weeks and to encourage me to fight for my life in Christ.

Words cannot explain the experience I encountered with the Lord before I reached my destination.  One thing I do know is that I was at peace and my mind was settled. I still am. Praise in His presence through worship and prayer carried me unlike any experience I can remember. Though I have yet to know my test results, I know that I know that I know that I am healed and whole whether I receive it in this life or when I go home to be with Him however it may be that I am taken. It doesn’t have to be sickness that we die from. Freak accidents and evil happens everywhere. I could die of natural causes. Better yet, He can just take me home because it’s my time. None of us know the day or hour that we will leave this world so I pray we focus on Him and the life and ministry we are called to carry out. May we love one another and share the Gospel of Christ with those who do not know Him.

I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. Victory is mine. It’s yours too dear believer. We have been given power and authority in Jesus’ name.  We are not defeated unless we throw in the towel.

Remember these words please and cling tight to them. God’s word is truth and He cannot go back on what He says.

Romans 8:38-39 ESV

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Restore Me Dear Lord in Your Presence

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He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30 ESV)

In His presence is where I want to be. It’s where I need to be. I pray this for you as well dear brothers and sisters in Christ. I speak this word out to the nations. I speak this word out to those seeking truth and comfort for you will find it all in Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior.

“Heavenly Father let us come before you with an open heart and mind ready to receive all that You have for us. May we triumph any obstacles we face this day. Your Word is our anchor and foundation for life. Let us become still and quiet as we are before You. Strengthen us this new day. Guide our lips to speak edifying things for truly this is something this world needs. As Your humble vessels, may we DECREASE so that You may INCREASE in our lives. Renew, restore and revive us in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen”

I encourage you this day to spend some time with The Lord. You never know what He has to share with you. I may be life changing. Someone needs a word of encouragement, someone needs some wise counsel, there’s a broken heart, an angry soul ready to throw in the towel. But God has a word! He has a word that is meant to raise up and transform! Praise Him, Hallelujah!!

If its not for you, it’s meant to be shared with another! Let us not grow weary in well doing. Let us not just become comfortable in the blessings that the Father has given us. Let us look to the needs of others.

In His presence, we are gifted beyond measure. His words are priceless. Nothing can compare. How mighty is He! Sow the seeds that will reap bountifully in due time Allow The Gardener to water the soil and then wait for the harvest. Be blessed one and all!

Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all. (II Thessalonians 3:16 NKJV)

Hasten to His Throne

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Psalm 84
1HOW LOVELY are Your tabernacles, O Lord of hosts!
2My soul yearns, yes, even pines and is homesick for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out and sing for joy to the living God.

3Yes, the sparrow has found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young–even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God.

4Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are those who dwell in Your house and Your presence; they will be singing Your praises all the day long. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

5Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.

6Passing through the Valley of Weeping (Baca), they make it a place of springs; the early rain also fills [the pools] with blessings.

7They go from strength to strength [increasing in victorious power]; each of them appears before God in Zion.

8.O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer; give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

9Behold our shield [the king as Your agent], O God, and look upon the face of Your anointed!

10For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand [anywhere else]; I would rather be a doorkeeper and stand at the threshold in the house of my God than to dwell [at ease] in the tents of wickedness.

11For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows [present] grace and favor and [future] glory (honor, splendor, and heavenly bliss)! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

12O Lord of hosts, blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who trusts in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, and that without fear or misgiving]!

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Hallelujah!! Hallelujah!! Praise the Lord wherever you are dear brethren for our God reigns on the throne forevermore! Hasten to His throne….go bow down before the Almighty King and give him the praises, the honor and glory. Be in reverence of Him. Mercies are anew, grace and blessings are abundant!

We are a peculiar people to our Father! No matter what we go through, he will be right there with us through the good and bad days in our lives. Strength to endure comes from He alone. Stand out and let your light shine! Sing a new song unto the Lord. He is the center of my joy and your joy alone!

The Blessedness of Dwelling in the House of God is what Psalm 84 is talking about. Who wants to walk around with the “old man” on? Take him off and put on the “new man”; the new creation that you are in Christ! Being a child of God doesn’t mean everyday will be peaches n’ cream but if you take a moment to pause (Selah) think on the goodness of the Lord! He’s brought you a mighty long way. You may not be where you want to be, but you are NOT where you were once before!

Sing, dance, shout, lay face down humbling yourself in the presence of The One Who is the Great I Am! Do whatever you need to do to clear out any thoughts and distractions that keep you from coming with a clear mind and heart before the Lord. Ask Him to make you over. Cleanse you, purify you and make you whole in Him. He is The Potter and Refiner!

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Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me! Bless Your holy name! I can’t help but sing praises to Him. He’s been nothing but good to me! He’s been good to you too! He’s been better to us than we have been to ourselves. Dwell in his presence my friends. Give yourself over and submit in mind, body and spirit to Him who gives you peace and a right state of mind.

Hasten to His throne and glorify all that he is worthy of. The Living Well is waiting to teach you, to show you how to live each and every day in abundance. Thirst no more.

Be blessed in your day!

I cannot help but share the love and joy given to me this morning. He’s the source of everything that I am and do in his name. Without Him, I am nothing. I cannot do anything that is righteous without his aid and presence. All praises, all glory and worthiness belongs to God. Today would not be had he not spoken it into existence.

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Encourage Yourself! Stay in the Word of God and speak IT over your life, those of your family and friends as well as those living in darkness. We were once there before. Invite them in so that they too can inherit the blessings and promises of God. Eternity in heaven or hell is the only choices there are. There’s no middle place to dwell. Share the love of Jesus and the change that has made your life worth living in him and for him!

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“Surely His salvation is near to those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him, [and is ready to be appropriated] that [the manifest presence of God, His] glory may tabernacle and abide in our land. Mercy and loving-kindness and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. Truth shall spring up from the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven. Yes, the Lord will give what is good, and our land will yield its increase. Righteousness shall go before Him and shall make His footsteps a way in which to walk.” (Psalm 85:9-13 AMP )

Praise Him, Hallelujah!

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1O GIVE thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.
2O give thanks to the God of gods, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.

3O give thanks to the Lord of lords, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever–

4To Him Who alone does great wonders, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

5To Him Who by wisdom and understanding made the heavens, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

6To Him Who stretched out the earth upon the waters, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

7To Him Who made the great lights, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever–

8The sun to rule over the day, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

9The moon and stars to rule by night, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

10To Him Who smote Egypt in their firstborn, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

11And brought out Israel from among them, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

12With a strong hand and with an outstretched arm, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

13To Him Who divided the Red Sea into parts, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

14And made Israel to pass through the midst of it, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

15But shook off and overthrew Pharaoh and his host into the Red Sea, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

16To Him Who led His people through the wilderness, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

17To Him Who smote great kings, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

18And slew famous kings, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever–

19Sihon king of the Amorites, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

20And Og king of Bashan, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

21And gave their land as a heritage, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

22Even a heritage to Israel His servant, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

23To Him Who [earnestly] remembered us in our low estate and imprinted us [on His heart], for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

24And rescued us from our enemies, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

25To Him Who gives food to all flesh, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever;

26O give thanks to the God of heaven, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever! (Psalm 136 AMP)

My friends, know that I AM; Father God, is bigger than any storm that blows your way. Praise Him as you battle your storms. His outstretched arms are waiting for you to let go of the things that weigh you down. He can move those mountains in your life, raise you up out of those dark and depressing states, heal brokenness and make you whole, bring comfort to you unlike no other. He can and is able to do ALL things but fail.

Trust Him, believe in him, root yourself in faith and truth that he will work it out on your behalf. It ain’t over until the victory is won! The battle is not yours, it’s the Lord’s. Speak ( with authority and courage ) to those things that want to keep you in bondage in the mighty and powerful name of Jesus. You have authority to tell those mountains to MOVE!! Even with faith the size of a mustard seed, it is not impossible. ( Luke 17:6, Matthew 17:20 NKJV )

Believe in the words and promises of God that comes forth out of your heart through your mouth, speaking it into existence. Stand your ground and tell the devil he is a lie. O Satan from the pit of hell, get thee behind me. ( and you ) Rebuke him and his pitiful, evil minions who have nothing better to do with their time but steal, kill and destroy. You will not find truth, love or comfort from deceptive lies disguised in sheep’s clothing.

God is TRUTH, LOVE, LIFE, FREEDOM, JOY, FAITHFUL, MIGHTY, MERCIFUL, GRACIOUS, POWER, the great I AM, the strong TOWER AND FORTRESS, OMNIPOTENT, OMNIPRESENT, OMNISCIENT and our heavenly FATHER who wants nothing but the best for his children. An abundance of blessings that overflow in Him is waiting just for YOU! His love endureth FOREVER!! Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus ( Romans 8:39 ).

He has done many many mighty acts for his children, He raised his beloved Son from death to eternal life. Jesus paid the price so that we can live life in a way that no man on this earth can ever fulfill no matter what promises are made. Jesus stood in the gap and died for our sins so that we could have the opportunity to go before the Father submitting our prayers in supplication before Him, as well as receiving eternal life in heaven. No joy or happiness in this world can fill us the way He can deliver it and it will stay forever and always.

Jesus is the Wellspring of Life.

You will thirst no more when you draw from him on a daily basis. Go to the Well, lay your heart before his feet and receive.

No matter what you are going through, he is right there with you. Hold on tightly, keep waiting for your breakthrough. Be patient through your afflictions, trials and temptations, tears and wails. He sees you and has not forgotten about you. Glory to God, praise him while you can people. Live today as if it is your last. Tomorrow is promised to no one. If you have life and breath in your body, God is not done with you. You have been blessed with another day to live right and make changes that are edifying to how you life this life here on earth.

Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. ( Psalm 30:5 )

Praise Him while you can cause it cannot be heard from the grave. Give your life to Christ if you never have, repent if you are a backslider and return back home. Home is with God. Peace that surpasses all understanding will be with you. God is standing at the door to welcome you home…..arms opened wide with a love in his heart that flows unconditionally.

Blessings and love for you today, tomorrow and forevermore in the name of Jesus Christ.

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